How to Teach a Toddler to Share Toys

Are you tired of your toddler throwing a tantrum whenever you ask them to share their toys? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Sharing is a developmental milestone that can take time for toddlers to learn and practice.

How to Teach a Toddler to Share Toys

How to teach a toddler to share toys can be a challenging but rewarding experience. At this stage of development, children are naturally focused on their own needs and may struggle to understand the concept of sharing. However, with patience, guidance, and consistent practice, toddlers can learn the importance of cooperation and kindness.

By fostering these skills early on, parents and caregivers can help toddlers develop strong social habits that will benefit them throughout their lives. Let’s explore some tips and techniques!

What are the Benefits of Teaching Toddlers to Share?

Before diving into specific strategies, it’s essential to understand the benefits of teaching toddlers to share. Sharing is a crucial social skill that promotes positive relationships and helps children navigate various social settings. Here are some of the key benefits of teaching toddlers to share:

  1. Develops Empathy and Understanding: When children share with others, they learn to consider other people’s feelings and needs. This can help them build empathy and understanding towards others.
  2. Strengthens Communication Skills: Sharing involves communicating with others and expressing one’s thoughts and feelings. By sharing toys, toddlers can practice their communication skills in a safe and supportive environment.
  3. Promotes Cooperation: Learning to share requires cooperation and compromise, essential skills for building healthy relationships.
  4. Prepares for School: Sharing is an essential skill that will be expected of children in school. Teaching toddlers to share at a young age can help them transition smoothly into school settings where they must share with classmates.

What Will You Need?

Before you start teaching your toddler to share, make sure you have the following items:

  • Toy Box or Basket: Creating a designated space for toys can help toddlers understand that they are meant to be shared.
Teaching Your 
Toddler to Share
  • Timer: A timer can help set specific time frames for turns and sharing.
  • Stickers or Rewards: Positive reinforcement is an effective way to encourage sharing behavior in toddlers. Consider using stickers or small rewards as incentives.

Once you have these items, you can start teaching your toddler to share.

10 Easy Steps on How to Teach a Toddler to Share Toys

Step 1: Start with Simple Instructions 

Begin by explaining and sharing in simple, straightforward language your toddler can understand. Use phrases like, “When we share, we take turns playing with a toy,” or “Sharing means we both have fun together.” Keep your instructions short and positive, as toddlers are more likely to respond to constructive messaging.

You can demonstrate sharing by modeling the behavior yourself. For instance, take turns playing with a toy alongside your child and say, “Now it’s your turn!” and then, “Now it’s my turn!” This helps them grasp the concept in a practical and relatable way. Remember to be patient, as toddlers may need repeated reminders and examples before fully understanding the value of sharing.

Step 2: Use Praise to Reinforce Sharing 

Whenever your toddler successfully shares a toy or takes turns, make it a point to praise their behavior. Use encouraging phrases such as, “Great job sharing your toy with your friend!” or “That was very kind of you to take

Praise 
Their Behavior

turns.” Positive reinforcement helps toddlers associate sharing with praise and approval, making them more likely to repeat the behavior in the future. Be specific about what they did well so that they clearly understand what actions are being encouraged.

Step 3: Teach Empathy Through Sharing 

Help your toddler understand how sharing impacts others by teaching them empathy. Use simple language to explain emotions, such as, “Look how happy your friend is because you shared your toy!” or “How would you feel if someone shared their toy with you?” Encouraging your child to see sharing from another person’s perspective builds emotional awareness and strengthens their willingness to share naturally. This approach lays the foundation for kindness and cooperation as they grow.

Step 4: Create Opportunities for Practice 

Provide your toddler with regular opportunities to practice sharing in various settings. Arrange playdates, family gatherings, or group activities where they can interact with other children and practice taking turns or giving others a chance to play with shared toys. Offer guidance and gentle reminders during these interactions, but allow them to work through minor conflicts independently when appropriate. These real-life experiences help reinforce the concept of sharing and enable your child to develop valuable social skills over time.

Step 5: Be Patient

Learning to share is a gradual process; remaining patient as your toddler navigates this new skill is essential. Celebrate and acknowledge their efforts, even small ones, using positive reinforcement such as praise or encouragement. For example, you might say, “That was so kind of you to share your toy!” or “I’m proud of how you took turns with your friend.” Focusing on their progress rather than perfection helps build their confidence and motivates them to continue practicing sharing behaviors.

Step 6: Model Sharing Behavior 

Children often learn by observing the actions of those around them, so modeling sharing behavior is a powerful tool. When you openly share items or take turns with your child, such as offering them a piece of your snack or letting them choose a game to play, you demonstrate the behavior you want them to adopt. Verbally highlight these moments by saying, “I’m sharing this with you because sharing is a kind thing to do.” Over time, these examples guide your child in understanding the importance of sharing and encourage them to mirror your actions.

Step 7: Encourage Empathy 

Teaching empathy can significantly enhance a child’s willingness to share. Discuss feelings and perspectives to help your child understand how their actions affect others. For instance, if another child looks upset

Teaching Empathy
Can Significantly

because they can’t play with a toy, gently explain, “See how sad they feel? Sharing the toy might make them happy.” Encouraging your child to recognize and care about others’ emotions fosters a deeper understanding of why sharing is essential and promotes compassionate behavior.

Step 8: Celebrate and Reinforce Positive Behavior 

When your child shares willingly or shows empathy toward others, acknowledge and celebrate their actions. Positive reinforcement through verbal praise, such as saying, “I’m so proud of you for sharing your toy,” helps them associate sharing with positive feelings. Sometimes, a simple hug or high-five can also reinforce the behavior. Recognizing their efforts boosts their confidence and motivates them to practice kindness and generosity.

Step 9: Lead by Example 

Children often learn best by observing the behavior of adults and role models around them. Demonstrate sharing and empathy in your daily interactions, whether offering to share a meal, helping a friend in need, or simply showing consideration for others’ feelings. When your child sees you acting generously and compassionately, they are more likely to imitate these behaviors. Use these moments to explain your actions, saying, “I shared this because it’s kind to help others.” By embodying the values you wish to instill, you create a powerful example for your child to follow.

Step 10: Keep the Conversation Going 

As your child grows, continue to have conversations about sharing and empathy. As they encounter new situations and challenges, they use these moments as teachable opportunities to reinforce positive behavior.

Child Grows Continue 
To Have Conversations

Ask them, “How do you think your friend felt when you shared your toy with them?” or “Why is it important to take turns with others?” By keeping the conversation going, you can solidify their understanding of the importance of sharing and encourage them to continue practicing this valuable skill throughout their lives. Remember that learning takes time and patience, so be consistent and celebrate every small step towards generosity and kindness.

Following these steps consistently can help your toddler develop a strong foundation of sharing and empathy.

5 Things You Should Avoid

1. Forcing Sharing: Avoid pressuring toddlers to share their toys immediately. This can lead to frustration or resentment, as toddlers are still learning about ownership and boundaries. Instead, encourage taking turns and explain the concept gently.

2. Punishing for Not Sharing: Discipline should not be used as a reaction to a toddler refusing to share. This approach can create negative feelings around sharing instead of fostering a positive understanding.

3. Comparing with Other Children: Refrain from comparing your toddler to others who share well. Comparisons can harm their self-esteem and discourage them from learning at their own pace.

4. Taking Toys Away as a Solution: Confiscating toys to resolve conflicts or enforce sharing can backfire. This may cause the child to feel a lack of control and escalate their attachment to their possessions.

5. Expecting Immediate Results: Teaching a toddler to share is a process that takes time and consistency. Unrealistic expectations can stress both the child and the parent. Patience and positive reinforcement are key to nurturing a healthy understanding of sharing.

Conclusion

How to teach a toddler to share toys is a gradual process that requires empathy, patience, and consistency.

By modeling sharing behavior, encouraging turn-taking, and reinforcing positive actions with praise, parents can foster a healthy approach to sharing. Avoiding punitive measures, comparisons, or unrealistic expectations helps create a supportive environment where the child feels safe to learn.

With time and perseverance, toddlers can develop the social skills needed for sharing, laying the foundation for positive interactions and relationships in the future.

Photo of author

Loren Jones

Hi, my name is Loren. I live with my husband and 4 lovely kiddos in the Eastern part of San-fransisco. I have a smart beautiful,curious 6 year old daughter, a handsome 11-year-old son, an intelligent and tech geek 15 years old son and a creative, artistic 12-year-old stepson. With each of my kids being five years apart, I feel that I’m now continually phasing in and out of each stage of parenting! I’ve learned a lot about the way children learn and behave, especially in a school setting with regards to curriculum. I enjoy sharing that insight through my writing and hope that it can help others.

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